People keep asking me how I'm doing with loosing daddy.
I know it is with the sincerest intentions, but that's a difficult question to answer. I haven't really known how to respond...
I usually just say, "I'm okay. It's been hard. Life's short, so love on your family for as long as you have them."
If you want to know the truth...
I often find myself focusing too much on the tragic last five months of his life rather than the memories that came before those horrible months.
I find myself crying from a random song on the radio, bursting into tears over a memory, or becoming upset when I think of something I want to ask him about and remember that I can't.
I still call his work voice mail just to hear his voice.
I hide these emotional times from everyone but my husband, mom, and sister.
I'm sad about it. There's no way around that...
He's gone.
It was under tragic circumstances.
It's okay to be sad though.
Even in my sadness...
I know that I have hope...
"In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."
John 16:33
Some have noted that I seem to be handling things wonderfully. I've heard, "I can't even imagine what you are going through. I'd be a mess. How are you keeping it together?"
I haven't really known how to put into words a response to that either...
Well, until last Sunday when our pastor presented the congregation with this wonderful passage from Lamentations...
Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope:
Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, "The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him." The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him...
Lamentations 3:21-25
That pretty much sums it up. I'm going through a hard time, but I will not be consumed. In the LORD I find compassion, faithfulness, hope, and even joy...
I once had a co-worker who would have religious arguments with me. He would tell me that my religious beliefs were nothing more than a crutch. After hearing this from him repeatedly, I finally responded that I'd much rather go through life with my crutch than go through this world with it.
I recalled this story to my mom when we were talking last night. She had a beautiful response when she brought up a quote she had once heard...
Jesus Christ is not a crutch; -- He is the very ground to walk upon!
-Pastor Lyle W. Pettit
What a perfect way to look at faith! The LORD is the ground that I walk upon. That is why even in my sadness, I know that I will be okay...
Lydia Grace in her "Choose Joy" shirt from LBB
Have a Saturday filled with joy!
Amen! I still miss my Dad and right now trying to struggle to take care of my Mom and myself while dealing with the devastation wrought by Hurricane Sandy, if it weren't for The Lord I couldn't go on. Even when I have been angry with Him, He holds me in the palm of his hand and protect me.
ReplyDeleteHang in there, the loss of your beloved Father is still so new, you will have time when you won't remember the last 5 months as much as all the loving times, but you need time to grieve and to heal.
May God continue to uplift you and may He grant you peace.
Hugs and prayers,
Maureen
Very uplifting and an awesome reminder of just how amazing our Lord is. I praise Him for without Him our lives would be in darkness. I praise Him for without Him there would be no hope, no peace or no joy. Even in sadness we can rejoice....tis so sweet to trust in Jesus!!!! Love you!
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